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The New Logo of EMS
I'm sure the leaked video of Tom Cruise discussing the church of Scientology has been viewed by millions by now. One thing that always struck me in the video is when Cruise talks about car accidents. He says "Being a scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else. As you drive past, you know you have to do something about it - because, you know you're the only one who can really help."
Listen to the section around 1:05

Personally, I find that somewhat of a interesting statement. I had always been taught to call 9-1-1 in an emergency; I recall Countless hours in grade school were devoted to me learning: call 9-1-1 in an emergency. But here I am now learning, Scientology may have completely been the overlooked alternative. Perhaps even the more reliable of the two, because as Tom says, they're the only ones who can help.

Particularly with the rising costs of healthcare and emergency services, it may also be that Scientology may be the cheaper alternative. Researching the cost of Ambulances, I found different figures - but most were around $500. Some were as high as $650 plus mileage. That's Ambulance alone, and most certainly does not include the fees in a Hospital.

Of course, that's the cost in the United States. If you're Canadian, those costs are largely covered by the public health care system - except in certain situations. In Vancouver, BC, beaches put up clear signs that say - in effect: To be saved, if you are drowning, will run you $50. You better hope you have your wallet on you, and cash too, as I don't imagine they take Interac.

And with high prices such as these, I couldn't help but wonder: What is Scientology charging? Especially when they purport to be the only ones who can help? (I assume here when they mean help they don't mean they'll just call 9-1-1 for me)

Doing some research I found that an introductory session with a Scientologist runs less than $100, and that includes books and materials. Not only is that a complete steal, but it's cheaper than your standard college course! In fact, some of my high school courses had fees that run up to that.

Now it's been brought to widespread attention that to reach the higher levels within Scientology, you have to open the old wallet. But here, we're just talking about being saved from a burning pile of wreckage. And while it may not exactly be an introductory session, I can't imagine it being very different in price.

Specific information is a little hard to find. I tried searching: How much does it cost to have a scientologist save you from a car accident? And: Scientology Emergency Response Cost, but I couldn't really find anything useful. My guess is, just like all other points in Scientology, their emergency response tactics are kept secret - probably because they know that if the Ambulances got hold of the information, they'll provide more reliable service, and would perhaps even be able to compete with them.

Scientology definitely has had a bad reputation in recent times, and has had a more public battle with the hacker group Anonymous. But I can't help but wonder, are they really all that bad? Next time you're in an accident, who are you going to turn to? 9-1-1: a service that costs your recently severed arm and leg while not guaranteeing your well being, or Scientology, a cheaper service that asserts it is the only one who can help?

Who would have thought that being infused with the soul of Lord Xenu, and having healing powers used on your body, by the likes of Hollywood starts such as Tom Cruise, would run a cheaper bill than today's more traditional methods of administering health care?



A funny read, though satire is sometimes lost on people... I was pretty surprised to learn how expensive ambulances can cost you though. Of course, medical insurance probably covers most of it, I imagine.

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