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THURSDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2016
 
Freudian slips, oft they have been my demise. That slip of the tongue that lets the listener know my true intent, an intention of which I seldomly knew of myself - only realizing it at that moment. They used to happen rarely, though lately I'm finding I'm making more and more slips. Actually, that's a bit of a lie. I was making many slips, and then those declined, to later be replaced by something else, to be discussed in a moment...

Me: I love being amongst the pubic.
Friend: Pubic?
Me: Public!

Me: I want to make love with you.
Friend: What?
Me: Gloves! I want to start a glove manufacturing company with you.

Admittedly, those are horrible horrible attempts at humor - only since I do not wish to pubicly admit my more embarassing Freudian slips. Yet as the years go by, and the trees undress, removing their leaves, I find that in my older age, I'm not making Freudian Slips so much as I am making, for lack of a better term, I will hereby coin: Freudian Correction.

What are Freudian Corrections? Consider them the reverse of a Freudian Slip. Where a Freudian Slip is when one meaning in your sub-conscious replaces the meaning in your conscious, causing you to say revealing statements about yourself, a Freudian Correction is in which you actually stated your conscious meaning, but then your subconscious lies to you by telling you that you made a Freudian Slip, so you say what's in your subconscious, only to later realize that you had it right the first time, and thus need to correct a second time. That's a verbose way of saying what I can say through example:

Me: I'll admit, I'm a bit of a drama queen...
Friend: Oh I...
Me: Err... sorry, drag queen.
Friend: What?
Me: Aahhhhh, I mean drama queen!

Why? Why is my brain revealing more and more as I get older? Why is it no longer making an attempt at hiding my inner most desires?

What next? Overt Freudian Admissions?

Me: I gotta admit, that tree is looking pretty hot.
Friend: ...

Followed by Freudian Assertions?

Me: Damnit, I'm serious... look at junk in that tree trunk!
Friend: I'm leaving now.

Followed by Freudian Philosophizing...

Me: I'm not seeing the forest for that sexy, sexy tree.
Comments

alishahnovin

alishahnovin

I don't know how you do it, but you always manage to weird me out more and more...



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