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MONDAY, JULY 11, 2016
Come one come all, c’mon and getcha-self some of this wonder water I got’s right here. This stuff, this stuff, this stuff. Amazing stuff, this wonder water. It’s 100% pure and it tastes just like rain; tastes like real rain, no artificial flavors or colours. It's also antiseptic, yeah? Pour some on a cut or scrape and it’s all good, for heaven’s sake. It’s also good in food, yeah? Pour it over some dried fruit and, whoa, man-o-man, you got wet fruit. Well, soggy fruit really, but it’s there and you got it.

Wanna know what else this stuff is good for? Listen up good, mister and misses: this stuff keeps you alive. No kidding. Secret of life. You drink some of this and you’ll live longer - real long. Without this stuff you can only make it a few days. A sip of this once or twice an hour, though, and you’ll live for decades. Miracle!!!

But what’s this? How much, you ask? Well, the days of free water are long gone, but I’m a reasonable man. I see that wheel-barrow of money ya got there. Money ain't much good, but I suppose I need something to light my fires with. Makes good kindling, ya know. Ya, ok mister and misses. I’ll make it a fair trade, well, I’ll keep wheel-barrow, just to be fair.

Whattaya mean, a cheat? Hey, get this stuff while ya can, it ain’t gettin’ any cheaper, mister and Misses. It’ll cost two wheel-barrows of money tomorrow. Get it while you can. Thanks mister and misses, you won’t be disappointed. This here bottle of water’ll last a week if you’re sparing. Yup, you have a good one too.

Whew. Can you believe this stuff used to be free?

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