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TUESDAY, JULY 12, 2016
 
Hey there, WordArcers (what are we called, anyway? And how is that pronounced? Looks as though it should sound like "word arse-ers", but of course I meant it like "word-arkers"). Anyway...

Here is installment number one of my "Opinionated Dic(tionary)". I encourage everyone to respond to the article with opinionated definitions of their own. It's fun! And easy!


15 Minutes: The amount of time Andy Warhol predicted everybody in the future would be famous for. Reality TV is fulfilling his prophecy. People are now rocketed to fame for shorter and shorter periods, and with less and less talent. And "social networking" websites let you create a celebrity-like image of yourself. Makes you feel like a somebody. (see Privacy and Internet, The)

24 Hours, Metro: Garbage. Don’t read them. They litter the city. They are what I call “video literature”; journalistic pablum perpetuating illiteracy. Their mechanical prose and flashy layout make it a very easy read, which makes the reader feel smart. Don’t read them, though. Read something else.

Anal Sex: I once heard a stand-up comedian say: “Should lesbians be allowed to use dildos? They’ve made their choice.” This is obviously fucking retarded. Just as retarded as saying straight guys can’t enjoy being fucked in the ass. It’s not what you want done to you that makes you gay, straight or bi, but who you want doing it to you.

College: Not what it should be. College is (should be) a place to teach thought, not a prep school for business, technical design, computer engineering, etc. The proper task of the college, ideally, is to provide a humanities education – history, philosophy, literature – for all citizens, giving meaning to democracy as a system of self-governing, well-informed, disinterested (but not uninterested) individuals.

Desire: The cause of suffering. Some desire potable water to stay alive, others desire the new I-Pod to stay hip. Some desire basic medicine, others a nice car. Some suffer more than others. But most suffer more than us.

Europe: Something in the past. Lots of little countries. Lots of violence. Cartoons (and citizenship policies) that offend Muslims.

God: Historic and literary phenomenon. At the same time one; many; personal; impersonal; knowable by reason; utterly unknowable; the mind and the Universe itself. Don’t ask anyone if they believe in God, it’s a silly question. Ask them if they know their history.

Internet, The: Teenagers love it. It’s a place to meet your friends and chat and see sexy pictures of each other on “friend networks” like Nexopia, Facebook MySpace. Sexy pictures, as always, are the biggest draw on the web.

Loyalty: A good trait in a dog or a slave. A relationship without trust.

Privacy: Ironically, as you put more personal info on the web, you lose your privacy and at the same time you become more introverted. Want to get to know me? Check out my MySpace. See you on the web.

Simpsons, The: Has replaced Bible as source of quotable one-liners. The Simpsons represents an interest that prefers us to think that The Simpsons is something it’s not, namely, real, intelligent critical commentary. It lends itself to distraction and confusion (tools of power) which breed passivity. It’s not surprising, therefore, that it fits the Bible’s role as a major intellectual blockage, by creating a reliable language of defeatism and indifference.

Sitcom: Sit calm and watch your sitcom.

Sports: Not a bad thing, just not very important. The Olympics are giant waste of resources and energy. They produce romantic stories about hero athletes who are quickly forgotten. It distracts us from things like, I don’t know, massive poverty and needless death. Higher, faster, stronger! Why? To get on the Wheaties box?


Matt Hogan is still a student and still wants other WordArcers (or whatever we're called) to put more biographical info on their profile pages. He also likes unconventional dictionaries.
Comments

Alamir

Alamir

Lesbianism: The sexual orientation of a small minority. A party game for everyone else.

Digital: A scary term for lazy artists.

NGO: Feel Good Inc.

Anti-NGO: The Church of "How Dare You Feel Good About Trying to Do Good."

Vegetarians: More holy than me.

Carnivores: More logical than me.

Government Funded Arts: See Hogan's "Sports" above. Except replace "Olympics" with "Awards" and replace "Wheaties" with "Archives."

Internet, The: Society's most accurate mirror.

Depression: Easiest artistic expression.

Happiness: Hardest artistic expression.

Laughter: Underrated artistic expression.

Director Bryan Singer and Writer Christopher McQuarrie: My version of Spielberg and Lucas.

Culture: Not something worth fighting for.

Sam Roberts: The white version of K-OS.

K-OS: The black version of Sam Roberts.

Alamir

Alamir

And what if we disagree with your opinion? How can the Metro and 24hours be bad reading? They provide a function: Concise news for travel. They're not always 100% right, they can be biased, and some stories may need more depth. But my counter argument is that, just like any source of information, they should not be your only source.

ChawlieFresh

ChawlieFresh

you are awesome possom.



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